Comments On Article: The Many Years To Making Our Home Practical

If you would like to share your comments for article The Many Years to making our home practical, this is where to do it! 

Click the Reply To This Topic button below to post yours.

We have chairs and a loveseat in the living room, and a beanbag chair behind the loveseat that we bring out for extra seating that people fight over because it's so comfortable.  One time some relatives came to visit, and were confused because we didn't have a couch. It was as if they didn't know how to sit down without a couch! :) :) We assured them that chairs worked just fine for sitting in. :) We sometimes move things around in our living room. This spring I am going to put a ping pong table on one side of the living room.  :) If it hadn't been for the Grandma Donna example all of these years, I probably wouldn't do that, but its fun to have a ping pong table up for awhile. :)

What really spoke to me in your post was putting things you're working on in a bowl or basket to move around with you. It's one of those things that just sounds right. I have a lot of mending all of a sudden because some of my linen things have sprung leaks and I need to figure out how to mend them. My duvet has a worn spot that I can reinforce from the back, and a pink linen nightgown that got worn I've been thinking could be used to make a flower patch over the worn spot on the front. That way it looks pretty, not just patched. I'll have to make a flower pattern first. 

I love that you repaired your vacuum. We need to check and clean ours. 

I like the idea of putting furniture where you need it and not necessarily where it's supposed to go. That's not an easy concept for everyone. 

Our home is not laid out so we could live in one room but it would work well for us right now.  It is a wonderful idea 

I'm probably the opposite to this - we have a three bedroom house, almost sixty years old so an 'old girl' in modern terms - tiny gallery kitchen, and small open plan living room - apart from that, one bathroom and separate toilet and that's that.  We were lucky enough to buy this as a run-down place and as it's highset, we enclosed the downstairs area which is where we spent most of our time.  This houses the two computer desks (yes, we have one each) and a small kitchenette using the old cupboards from when we remodelled the upstairs kitchen, a 1930's kitchen dresser, and various storage boxes that my husband has made himself.  However, my two "spare rooms" which were guest rooms once our girls grew up and their children grew up, were not used to any advantage - so one we turned into a utility room which houses the bookcase (vastly pared down these days and also houses some dvd's), and drawers housing our excess clothing.  The second 'spare' bedroom we have just in the last few months turned into what the British call a 'snug' - a lovely little room that is for us only.  I make no apologies for 'closing the motel doors' as we've been used constantly for the last fifty years since we moved down here as a stopover for anyone travelling through.  We're finding it's too much for us these days so that motel has closed down.

My only suggestion is to make or purchase a smaller home as one ages that is very easy to clean and has areas for exactly what you love to do. Having a large home, on two levels, that has high upkeep and maintenance makes the late senior years stressful. My husband loves larger homes and, yes, they do have some benefits, but for the elderly they have many more negatives. The older one gets, a desire to just enjoy the short time left is stronger than any desire to clean or fuss.

I love the idea of putting furniture where it works best for you. Thinking out of the box is something that I greatly admire. Your home works for you and that is what is truly important.

gDonna, your home is lovely and peaceful. I enjoy all of the pictures that you post. Thank you.

My husband and I have been there for my father in-laws Alzheimer’s diagnosis and seven years of increasing care and needs until he passed. We were also the ones that helped my mother in- law sell her large home and car and move to an assisted living facility. We learned about this process earlier than most couples because we are the youngest children in our families and our parents happen to be older.  It has been eye opening and many folks, esp in their middle age, seem unaware of the cost and heartache that might be ahead. We learned how important it is to have an up-to- date will, trust, and financial documents that are in order. We buckled down and arranged that right away for ourselves after dealing with some confusing messy times caring for parents. To me, it is the greatest gift my parents could give me and that I can give my own child to have that “financial/legal house” in order so they understand our medical and burial wishes before it turns into a crisis.

We also made the unusual decision to downsize from a large older house with a huge yard that required extensive upkeep to an accessible secure and easy to navigate condo (with a balcony so I do have a few vegetables and flowers) near the heart of town (close to the public library, town hall, park, town senior center, post office, and a couple little cafes) in our early 40s so that we can eventually age in place for as long as possible. When we made the move to a smaller place in town, many people thought we were “going backwards” in life and giving up the American dream. But to us it feels like we live our dream of having a safe and secure future living close to a community. We don’t know when or how we are going to go but whoever dies first will have an easier time than if we hadn’t pared down and prepared. Our room and kitchen are all on one floor with few rugs (easier for mobility and minimizes trip hazards) and our bathroom is very small but has a walk-in shower with grab bars (also one next to the toilet). We also chose a home where we can continue to get out into the community without a car. I noticed many older folks feel isolated or trapped in big homes once they stop driving. We keep one car now but if we lose that ability to drive then we can walk (with a walker!) or even roll with a wheelchair on well-kept sidewalks to local shops and community places. It has brought us so much joy and ease to live life in this simpler way, though like everyone, we do not know what the future will bring.

This is wonderful information.  It is so engrained in our minds “how we are supposed to live,” it’s difficult to think outside the box. I once encountered a gal with 4 children who was trying to determine which two to pair together in their 3 bedroom house. I suggested making one a sleeping or quiet room for all 4 and the other an activity or play room.  She had not thought of that and I think it’s what she ended up doing.  
We don’t yet need grab bars and the like but are thinking in that direction.  When we were looking at houses, we wanted single level with no or very few steps and wide doorways.  (Things like that). 
I loooove your frog pin cushion

I had no experience with hospice at all when we brought my mom home.  As is often the case, our nurse was amazing.  I felt like a dolt when she first arrived, but she just made herself at home and told me to sit and take a rest whenever she came.  She would ask me for anything she needed to know.  It was a huge relief.   What Donna said is absolutely correct.  My mom was in the living room and I slept on the sofa at night.  The nurse would come in, put her lunch in the fridge and sit at the table and make notes, calls, deal with meds etc.  She thanked me for keeping it clear and available.  She did request a little more room on either side of my mom's bed so that was an easy fix.  But we moved a chair into the dining room (it's roomy as it's a 'great room ' situation with no walls).  We also moved the tv upstairs and tuned in to my mom's regular shows in hopes that it would be comforting to her.  I don't watch regular TV at all so it was annoying lol.  

I never saw any of that coming so it was a jolt, for sure.  I'm glad I was organized and tidy because that certainly made it much easier.  

We built our first real home in our early 40’s and did some things right, some wrong but it still works. We built our bedroom upstairs but there are two bedrooms and a bathroom between them downstairs to move to if needed.

My husband became disabled and moved downstairs before he passed away. A ramp outside was installed for him and I left it in place. Our house is elevated five feet due to flood zoning, which it never has flooded here in over 100 years but one can’t easily argue with the government about that. The ramp is very helpful to me. I got a rolling foldable cart and roll groceries and such up the ramp with it. 

We also have a step in shower in the downstairs bathroom with grab bars, and a bar by the toilet, all of which I left in place. 

I heartily endorse the idea of getting legal documents in place well ahead of time. Dementia can make a person legally unable to sign and that requires a lot more legal work and expense to get the paperwork done then. Also look at a Guardian at Need document, so no stranger can come in and take over as guardian by using a co-conspirator judge. You will already have one named. 

I don’t follow the decorating rules either at this point in life. I have what I like and what works. I have a very small kitchen table so I use a big folding table from the shed when family all eats here. I have a couple of long cloths and a table pad to make it nicer and we use padded folding chairs that are stored in a closet for extra seating. I’m in Florida so we often put the folding table on the porch when we have a crowd. 

Oh, I forgot. Our bathroom door was a hair too small to get a regular wheelchair through. A light rolling chair called a transport chair fit but we opted to take off the door and install a sliding “barn door” instead. A wheelchair will get through now. A hook and eye latch is used to latch it shut. 

Gdonna I love the story of the note on the typewriter. So sweet!  I would cherish that forever!

I love this post, because I love seeing your home, Gr Donna!  It's just so homey and cozy. I would agree w/the little type-written note. I think it's different in such an amazing way. Love abounds there, especially as one who is a trend-despiser. LOL.  The kitchen... so darling. Your paneling in there, reminds me of my Gr-parents house. They had that! I just love it & love how you make it all work together & Charles is even on-board :). Of course there you have "my" precious rocker. Love it!  Thanks for the vac cleaning reminder (groan). I like the ones I didn't have to clean. We have 2400 sq feet 1200 too much. All relatively odd space. We've got a separate family/living room split by the front door. Hate it. One side houses the MBedroom (& door right there center, yuck), so we moved the tv out of that living area & put it on the other side. If we have company, we dislike the tv & company right there at our door. It houses a big table for puzzling that we do daily & wall of books, a little desk area for whatever. Stephanie G - the ping pong table will be great!  The other side is the tv (could do without) which is adjacent to kitchen prep space.  I don't know where I'm putting my rocker (lol), but it's going there close by. We have a huge problem with people gathering in the kitchen without a comfy place to sit. 

We could potentially divide the house in half, with 3 bedrooms & family rm on one side and master and living room on the other.  If something happened to my hubby, I'd probably close off the master area and use it for storage, LOL or use the Master side and have my dd and husband live in the other!  One thing I did do was I removed all things I use from lower cabinets to higher ones. I have a horrible back & I reach better than bend.   We also just had a shower installed & tub removed in our MBath complete with grab bars.  And last year we got new flooring (no carpet which I miss dearly), so hard floors and no throw rugs (rather cold and hard) other than at the outside door & at the kitchen sink in case we drop a sharp items (we trip over it constantly).  Also, in cleaning out spare closets, we house the Christmas tree and extras in the spare room closet so I don't have to schlep to the shed where stuff dry rots.  Easy to grab & put away.  We do have a pond which I wish my hubby would dispose of. It's difficult to take care of which he doesn't really, so it's an eye sore. My hubby laughs that we finally have a lot of property he wanted, yet now we're too physically unable to take care of it. It really does us in. I'd rather live than take care of a bunch of stuff at this point.

We may have our niece stay with us for a month or so as she's retiring from the navy, coming back from Bahrain. The house is at least set for that. Other than my daughter and her husband who are 25 yrs old, we have no family to speak of. My guess is we will be the ones who need the help. LOL

I have moved things around to suit me. But I have always done this as I do not follow trends at all!

I have 3 bedrooms, one is up with a loft area, 2 down with only 1 bathroom.  I loved having my bedroom upstairs but when my old dog could no longer go up and down the steps I moved "us" downstairs to one of the guestrooms. It worked out fine, smaller room but I don't care. It serves its purpose and I have a nice window to look out of if I want my coffee in bed.  I still have a guestroom downstairs and I not only use it for a guestroom but I also have a rack with home canned goods stored and I set my drying racks up in there. The door stays closed so no heat goes in or very little because I have the furnace outlet closed and use mainly my wood stove.

I have a great room which is supposed to serve as a dining room at one side, I removed the extendable table (seats 12) and shrunk it to seat 4 put it in the kitchen and moved a table to that area with 2 library chairs, I have an oil lamp on it and a regular lamp on the counter in back of it. It serves as a place to mend, read, rest of doze.  If I need the table extended it is simple to just extend it into the dining area. 

I have loveseats and chairs in the living room part of the great room. I have a regular size sofa and chairs in the sunroom with the TV. It is not set up for others taste but it works for me. I have always been seen as "different" so nothing new there LOL

My kitchen is small, but it suits me. I am short and it is hard for me to reach some things but keep a step stool if needed. 

I have hardwood floors everywhere except the stairs, easy to clean and vacuum. I used to have carpet everywhere but since having it removed and installing hardwood my allergies are so much better.

Although we have two levels in this house, it's not a big house - downstairs also houses the single car garage and both my kitchen and my living room are small due to the internal stairs - bedrooms are not big either, which is why we just kept ours and turned the other two into more useful areas.  Our 'office' area down here is really just one big open space, so desks/computers in one part, a comfy lounge suite where we usually have visitors sit, my big upright freezer, the drinks fridge, various cupboards and a kitchen sink and cupboards rescued from the upstairs make-over.  If necessary we could live down here quite easily, there is already a toilet and the corner could be made into a shower room.  We reversed the toilet doors so they open out instead of in for safety sake, and have grab rails in place should we ever need them - we have age proofed our home as best we can.  

As for moving, to downsize we'd not find anything smaller than this, and to move wouldn't be to our advantage as where we live is close to everything and we wouldn't need a car, we could walk.

Our home has been arranged so many ways over the years, to fit the needs of our family!  Even now our setup is somewhat unconventional.  I agree it makes sense to use homes the way we need to, not according to any cultural standards or social media ideals.

My house is 100 years old and is on a raised foundation.  Eventually we will add handrails to the front steps, plus handrails on the side steps and a ramp there if/when it is needed.  If we ever remodel the primary bathroom we want to have a roll in shower, as right now it is step in.  The house is single story, which was important to me when we were looking at houses, along with not having a pool.  We’ve also live close to our downtown.  I know some people like to retire in more rural areas or farther out in the suburbs with big lots, but we have always lived as a car-light family and chose a house less than a mile from my husband’s workplace so he wouldn’t lose family time to a commute (which also saved huge amounts of money over 3+ decades).  We are within half a mile of the library, a park, the senior center, and the post office, as well as shops, restaurants, and cafes, although we don’t really patronize those.  Within a mile we have our church, the doctor and dentist, and all sorts of businesses.  From where I sit in my house looking out a picture window at a lovely old neighborhood with established trees, you would never really know we are so close to all of that!  Not only will we have options to get places if we become unable to drive, we also remain in community and avoid becoming stranded or feeling left out and alone.

I am back into a decluttering and organizing mood but I am stumped on what to keep and what to release.  In the past I have gotten rid of things and wished I hadn’t, but at the same time I need more space for the items we actually do use.  I can always tell when I need to do a clean sweep because things stop getting put away neatly.

This ties into our retirement, because I feel like we are spending more time cleaning and organizing than we did before.  But then I remembered that my husband brought a lot of things home from his office and they don’t have places yet.  Also, I started saying yes to more Buy Nothing items, and now I see that was out of fear, which I know is a bad place to base decisions from.  Having too much stuff now to save money in the future probably isn’t the best plan.

I have been at the home hospice bedside of four loved ones, but had never really thought about where we might set up hospice here at home, so I appreciate your post, Grandma Donna.  One thing I noticed is that when the hospital bed is in the living area, there was more visiting at the patient’s bedside in the final days and hours, whereas when the patient was in a bedroom guests tended to congregate in the living areas and only pop in occasionally to sit with the hospice patient.  With my father-in-law, he was in the family room and not only did so many people come to say goodbye in the last days (he was no longer conscious), but there was room for a large group of us (15+ people) to be together and with him at the very end.  He slipped away as we all sat around him telling stories of our time with him — it was precious and heart breaking at the same time.  But I can see with a person who is on hospice for an extended period of time that a bedroom might be better suited to give the patient privacy and rest.  My stepmother was on hospice for 6+ months, so being set up in a bedroom was better for her.

Thank you for posting this thoughtful post. I had not thought about getting a small fridge for Jacob and my room. Our room is downstairs and off of the main room of the house. It's to the right of the front door. I also hadn't thought of the therapists using our bathroom! It's upstairs. I might see about getting a small fridge and a small french press and an electric water boiler so that we can have a coffee and tea station in the room. I am already arranging to have a coffee table removed from the room so the center of the floor is open for physical, occupational and speech therapies. 

I might need to consider getting rid of a nice couch we have and replacing it with two chairs and a small center table (or maybe the small fridge can be the center table...). There are so many adjustments we still need to make in our room before Jacob comes home. In the back of the room is a wooden, twin sized bed with drawers under it. I might have a curtain partition put up around it so that I have a little privacy if we find a way to get a home nurse in our rural area. 

My husband and I will have two separate rooms for the foreseeable future. All Jacobs medical equipment will not fit in our room and I have to sleep close to him. My husband needs rest for work so this is the best solution for the time being. Thanks again for helping me plan even more. 

Grandma Donna Wrote,

Kieva A, the nurses are very good at adapting to the homes in which they come to.  They normally bring their own drinks and food if at all.  The couch may work just as well, since you like your couch and may come in handy with some exercises with Jacob.  Maybe give it some time as you see the needs of the required space that you will need, but mostly make it comfortable for your needs in caring for Jacob. They also may their own suggestions.  I am happy that you are at this point of needing to consider these things, meaning getting closer to that day Jacob comes home.  

Much Love, Grandma Donna

Often a hospital bed cannot fit down a hall and make a turn into a bedroom hence they end up in the living room.  

If you are considering downsizing, make sure it's big enough to move around with a wheelchair or even a walker.  I fought my mom for years about making her house accessible for a walker as she needed one, but no she furniture/wall walked through an over furnished house.  A broken arm ended her sojourn, and she had to move to assisted living.  My late dh could no longer visit when he became walker dependent.  

It's been years since I "decorated" my home.  My goal is utility and comfort.  It's far from perfect but basically both comfortable, easy to navigate and easy to keep clean.  I was encouraged to get rid of numerous kitchen tools that I seldom use.  I said no because I have room, they are paid for and even though they maybe only get used once a year or even two years, I'm keeping them.  I did remove them from the kitchen and have them stored in a tote in the laundry room.  Getting them out of the kitchen drawers was a welcome change for my daily life and still having them available for their unique uses is comforting.

I took two large boxes of donations to a thrift shop today.  Each time I do that it feels like another brick has lifted from my load.

Grandma Donna wrote,

Ann W, when we shift furniture in our house we pull out the walker and use it for our measurement guide  to make sure it will pass through.  Thankfully right now we can put it back behind the bedroom door where it lives. We also have a small transport chair that does well in our home as we have had many reasons to learn the tricks to the trade so to speak. 

We keep the regular size wheelchair in our old laundry room along with a bedside commode and other medical items such as "Wheelamina".  

Wheelamina is a wheelchair/walker that we purchased a few  years ago when I had some medical issues.  I gave that name to the conversion chair/walker that folds and will fit in the back of the car.  :)

Ann W, that is a good point about hospital beds and hallways — it made me realize if we have to have a hospital bed in the house it will have to be in the living room or dining room, or in the big bedroom that is currently serving several purposes, since there is a set of French doors into that room.

When my grandmother stayed with us her walker could make it through our doorways.  She would have preferred to use the furniture and walls over the walker, but I insisted because of our dog.  Animals do create fall hazards in the home.

Yesterday I decluttered several easier areas in preparation for tackling the kitchen today.  The living room, dining room, and breakfast nook are all clean and tidy again, with everything having a place.  I also did my nightstand.  I would like to have space to store the less often used kitchen items that I would rather not part with but also not encounter daily, but that isn’t happening today.

Topics like this always remind me of why I hate the "great room" so much.  I have one.  I've determined that this was a sneaky way for builders to save money.  Less walls, high ceilings = less work.   I did not want one, but we had a very limited choice in our town.  Either century homes or these.  I still haven't ruled out putting a wall in to separate the dining and living rooms.

I know so many people that turned their separate dining rooms into something else.  And then put the dining set into the den.  Those dining rooms made great reading nooks, offices, craft rooms, and one even became a guest room.  A couple of doors and they were transformed.  Slight modifications like that and moving furniture are the easiest ways to make a house work for you.... unless it's stupidly done like ours lol!!

I have a question about needing to put the hospital bed in the living room, we have had 2 hospital beds and they each were in one of the bedrooms which had a normal door.  One we bought 2nd hand and it came apart and that was put together in a bedroom.  The second was brought in by Hospice and it was in pieces and put together in the bedroom.  These bedrooms were on the first floor so didn't need to carry heavy pieces up the steps. Why do you need a big door to get the bed in?